The Lost Pages

Paul van Dyk and Ethiopia

Been to Paul van Dyk concert yesterday. Was a blast! Got drunk and totally wasted which made it even all the more better.

Anyways, a friend of mine from college, Soddy, and me went to the concert. We got totally wasted and after the concert, we went outside. i am pretty sure we walked around in circles until we finally got out of the place. Soddy was pretty high, said he was really hungry and asked me to take to some restaurant. I hailed a cab, and since i didn't know many places to eat there and more because I was pretty high myself, ask the cab driver - "Dude! take me to some nice restaurant".

The guy said he would and started driving. After 5 minutes, Soddy asked me

"dude, vithal, where are we and where are we going da?"

I had no fucking clue where we were but I confidently answered

"we are in midtown da. we are going downtown"

I am sure the cab driver must have heard us and laughed at us.

Anyways, after about 10 mins, we are dropped in fornt of a Ethiopian restaurant. We generously tip the driver and go inside place. We were heavily drunk and obviously, very, very hungry.

So we go inside, look at the menu and I order the item which I felt had the most funniest name. I dont remember now, but i think the dish i ordered had a name which sounded like machio.

We wait for like 20 mins in silence (we were too high to talk) and felt like we would doze off at the table if we didnt get our food soon. So we try to indulge in some conversation. To get a gist, our conversation was very loud and involved trying to figure out in which continent Ethiopia was and where the country figured on the world map. Yes, you guessed right. People WERE watching us, and I should add, not with reverence. But, obviously, we didnt care cause we didnt know what we were doing.

So after 10 more mins, I finally go up to the waiter standing in the corner and ask if we could get served. And she says

"what! you didnt get ur food yet? it was ready like 15 mins back. I think the guy who was supposed to serve you forgot to do so."

A lot of familiar words and phrases like "what the fuck", "stupid bitch", "dumbfuck" and the sorts came to my mind in a flurry and almost to my mouth where I stopped them.

And we get our food. Ethiopian food, I realised consists of curry(sabji) and dosas. Yes dosas, which you use like rotis(bread) and use them to eat the curry. What i got, wasn't exactly good. So i didnt eat much of it and left most of it on the table. I told soddy i was done and i went to the restroom. The place has one rest room for men and its door was locked. So i wait outside. The "beer effect" was kickin in and I had "to go" real bad.

After 10 mins, a kid of around 13 years old, who who was the restaurant owner's grandson i came to know later, looks at me from far, comes to me and asks me

"Sir, are you waiting to go to the restroom?"

i was gonna say

" no i am counting the stars from here. i am at 2136 and going strong" but i said "yes"

and then, he takes some keys from his pocket, unlocks the restroom door and says

" i am sorry sir, but we keep it locked. just in case"

i felt like a jackass but the "urgency" made me forget everything and attend to the "urgent matter at/in hand"

After that, i go and sit at the table. Soddy, had been to Ethiopian restaurants before and he knew what he was ordering. So he got himself something he knew was good. By the time I came, he too had finished and he told me he had asked for the bill.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, a 60-year old lady (the restaurant owner) comes to our table and asks in a demanding voice

"Why didn't you finish you food?"

i was high in the first place and this unexpected question totally stopped my thinking process and i didnt know what to answer. i have left food unfinished many times in restaurants before but never was i demanded an explanation for doing so.This lady here was playing my mom! She reiterated

"i want to know why u u didnt complete ur food. give me a frank answer. i am not going to charge you for your meal.tell me honestly whats the reason?"

i was dumbstruck. i have to give her a reason so that she can charge me?!??!?! and she is looking me right in the eye and was waiting for me to speak up.

Soddy, sly bugger, looks at her and says " I completed my food. i liked it!" and gives me a broad smile.

That's great. so now i am the culprit here and i am the only one who has to come up with a creative answer so that grandma dear here cant scold me in front everyone!

i tell her that i was drunk and hence i cudn't complete the food. she gives me a quizzical look and says "what do u mean u are drunk?"

great!my lucky stars! she doesnt know english too well. now i have to explain her what "getting drunk" is!?!?!

Soddy comes to my rescue and tells her that the food was too much and we shared hsi dish and cudnt complete both the dishes. He had to promise her that we wud come again to the restaurant to make her go away.

she looked like she got convinced, gives me a "you are a bad boy and you have done something terrible" look and goes inside the kitchen.

after like a min, the girl who took our order initially comes to our table wit the bill and asks us in a high voice

"What did you guys tell her? she is completely freakin out inside! she's yelling at the cook!"

We had to explain her that we didnt say anything bad about anybody or anything and send her away. We pay the bill and tip them "pretty good" and run away from there.

my first Ethiopian experience. I really wanna go there again when i am sober and more importantly, when I am really hungry!

posted by Vithal @ 10:20